Autumn Begins - Learning.

The 8th of October was my 25th birthday. It's pretty crazy to think that I am now a quarter of a century old. Makes me feel even older wording it that way.

What have I accomplished in these years? I know I've learned an incredible amount of things about myself, the people in my life and the people that are no longer in my life.

I understand things about myself that I never really understood before, and I think I know the reasons for my thoughts and actions. It is always a journey and a struggle to change the things I don't like but some of those things will probably never change and that's OK too. All of us have insecurities and doubts about all things in life and I know that's completely normal. Subconsciously, I think our brains know where we are meant to be and who is meant to be in our life. I know it is also God putting us in those places and with certain people...or at least He's allowing those things because we will learn something.

In my recent past I chose to let go of a couple very special people. One is a very, very special little girl. She's only 5 but is extremely smart, loving, and compassionate. I fell in love, and for those of you that really know me, I don't really like kids all that much. I never grew up having them around me so I never learned how to deal with them. However, when this little girl came into my life something changed inside of me. Something I didn't quite understand; I felt a love for this person that I've never felt before. And she loved me, adored me, actually. When certain situations arose, I was no longer able to be in her life and my heart broke. It was, indeed, my choice but I knew I no longer had a place in her life. She didn't need me anymore and it just seemed it didn't make sense for me to be present any longer. I am still heartbroken over this but I learned something. I learned that I can love a child and a child can love me. A sort of compassion grew in my heart and now I look at children in a whole new way. I think learning that was the purpose of having those people in my life. I will always miss her but life is so full of hard decisions and I knew this was the right one for me and her. In the long run hearts will mend and move on to another person to love.
_______________________________________________________________

We went to the Blue Rose Restaurant for a birthday lunch! Located in Newport, NY my grandma often went to eat there. It was really special to think she often ate there and it was the first time I've ever been there! We had a good time and ate some pretty good food!

I was also able to spend some time at our family camp. There was a lovely rainbow and I was able to capture this cool photo with Mama looking at it!

Me being silly and sitting in a stump. Haha

It's been a nice October so far. Very busy, but good. Though I'm not looking forward to the cold, I am looking forward to fall festivities and Christmas! Stay tuned for more fun!