I want to choose you.

Went to Asheville and Winston-Salem, NC.

My stomach in knots.
Your face hidden behind my eyes.
I cannot see another, not the way I saw you.
Feeling confused. Trapped.
My heart is pounding.
There is something I need from you
Something I cannot explain
Just completely enchanted, captivated.
There was something real, can't you see?
Eyes filling with tears, heart breaking again.
I needed you to be with me.
It was hard for me to understand
I wish you let me in.
I wanted to know you, all of you.
Desperately scratching at my insides
I am screaming a whisper, dying to tell you,
I love you. After all, I love you.

During a walk on Christmas I daydreamed about a life with you.
Caring for you in ways that were difficult before. I miss you. I just really miss you.