Joyful single woman seeking Jesus Christ Alone.

When I was younger I told myself that I wanted to be married by the age of 22. That may sound silly or crazy to some of you but it's the truth. The reasoning behind that age is something, perhaps, no one knows about.

When I was a sophomore in high school I had my first "real" boyfriend. I thought I was totally in love. He loved music, played guitar, had a great sense of humor and declared to really love me back.We saw each other at school and would talk for hours after school. Occasionally we could spend time with one another over the weekend when my parents would drive me to his house, that is. Oh it seemed so wonderful. Anyway, getting to my real point (I honestly don't want to be reminiscing about this in too much detail....I barely remember all of it anyway), we went trick-or-treating on Halloween and I remember him suddenly singing this song, out of the blue, that had the lyrics "When, we're 22, I will still love you..." So from that point on, I was convinced I was supposed to be married (to him) when I was 22. Though that relationship didn't work out, I still wanted to be married by 22. It all stemmed from that song he randomly sang to me while walking the streets hoping to collect a bag full of candy.

Now, at 26 I am no where close to being married. There have been moments of time when that bothered me. OK there have been MANY moments when that bothered me. At least it used to.
I've always been a type to pursue a man (first mistake). I would use my womanly charm (c'mon ladies, you know what I mean) the look in your eye, your body language, the way you speak. Don't deny it, we women know how to manipulate and lure men. If you don't know what I'm talking about, well, here's a little insight from Proverbs 7.

Proverbs 7:7-9 -

I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who had no sense. He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight as the day was fading, as the dark of the night sets in.

Proverbs 7:21-23 -

With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into the noose until an arrow pierces his liver. Like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.

We know how to entice men. We look for the ones we think may be weak and we pounce. I did so in hopes of convincing one of them to marry me. (Another HUGE mistake) Or at least just pay attention to me for a few months. (Yup, mistake) There was rarely a day that went by where I wasn't sending text messages to one, two, three different boys. (And yet another mistake) All because I wanted to feel pretty and desired. In the process I was just hoping that one of them would turn out to be husband material....I've made many, many, many mistakes when interacting with the opposite sex.

I was so confused and caught up in so many lies of the enemy. So caught up in the pressures that this world puts on everyone.
As I've previously discussed in another post, I believed that the only place to find my worth was in a man. I can't stress enough about how much of a lie I've learned this is.

We cannot expect a man (or woman if you're a man reading this) to be what Christ is supposed to be to us. It just doesn't work. Humans will always fail.

Okay, back to the point of this blog.

Every year after my 22nd birthday I wondered why I wasn't yet married. It saddened me, I really thought I knew the best plan for my life. I wanted to be able to celebrate many many anniversaries so, it seemed the only way to do that was to be married by 22 at most! 

But, as I'm always learning, God has a different plan that is always better.

I think there is way too much pressure put on us unmarried people. Why is it that when talking to new people whether co-workers, or school mates, or yes, even people at church the first few questions include, what do you do for a living and do you have a family. Of course, I know these questions are mainly asked because when you don't know anything about a new person the easiest things to start a conversation with are such questions. But after talking to some single friends and seeing the disappointments they have had and the struggle they have with being single I wonder why there has to be so much pressure on being married.

As you read and some of you know, I have never been the type to be content in my singleness but God has shown me a better way. He has made it clear that my purpose in life is NOT to find a man and get married. My purpose is to glorify Him whether I'm married or single. If you are in Christ, that is your true purpose. To be the person He wants you to be and to be His hands and feet.

Hebrews 13:20-21 -

Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
(Emphasis added)

The truth of all this, which God has been making known to me, is that where we are, right now, is exactly where He wants us.
If, at 26 I have to be single to be best used by God, then I'm completely okay with that. He is "equipping me with everything good for doing His will." If God can use me better in my singleness to do His work than I am more than joyful to be single as long has He wills me to be.

May we learn that it is not our life purpose to find a man and get married. Our purpose in this life is to glorify God and Him Alone.

Do not grow weary in your singleness, God sees you, He knows your needs much better than you do. Don't try force someone to marry you because you think your clock is ticking. God is well aware of the timeline of our life and He's not concerned over your age or status. He desires you to love Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Mark 12:30 -

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

"All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down, but not this time....it's time for you to shine brighter than a shooting star shine no matter where you are."

Shine for Christ. No matter what your status. Shine!

- Brit